History of Doitsuism
While it is unclear how the Doitsu religion was founded, many believe it began when Grandpa Rome died for everyone's sins many years ago. Nothing is known about what happened to the religion between that time and now or why it had disappeared for so long, but the history is beginning to be uncovered with the discovery of the ruins of the Old Church of Doitsu. Inside the church ruins, the Book of Doitsu was found and contains the unknown history of the Doitsu, written in the words of Germania. This book is currently being restored so that the text can be read by all who wish to study it by a team lead by Sister Coralsolstice, who found the book. What is now known comes from the finished pages and visions received by First Prophet Veneziano, who was the first to receive Doitsu's message.
The New Church of Doitsu (or as it is called "Holy Church of Doitsu") was founded by High Priest Preußen and First Prophet Veneziano. The two founded the church after receiving Doitsu's message and becoming inspired to spread his teachings. They spread these teachings to inspire the good and shine in people and give awareness of the evil Anti-Doitsu.
Anti-Doitsu is considered the "devil" of the Doitsuist religion. The Anti-Doitsu has the ability to remove people's shines and appears to look exactly like Doitsu. This is how he confuses the Doitsuists into thinking he is their Doitsu and removing their shine. The biggest difference in appearance is that he is the inverted colors of Doitsu. Some believe that he brought about the downfall of the Old Church in the olden days. There is also some mention of a man named David Karp, but it is unclear what his role in the downfall of the Old Church was.
Doitsuism is known for its magnificent german sparkle parties of which consist of drinking lots of beer and consuming many wursts. "I like German sparkle parties." Is commonly used amongst Doitsuists.
Ceremonies, Holidays, and Sacred Items
The three most sacred items of the Doitsu religion are the potato, wurst, and beer, which form the "Holy Trinity" of the Doitsu religion. They are commonly used in ceremonies of all kinds. For baptism into Doitsuism, one takes an oath to "honor thy Nation and to shine bright like a Doitsu" with one hand held up and the other over one's heart. Once the person takes the oath, holy beer is dabbed onto their forehead by High Priest Preußen. Other ceremonies include German Sparkle Parties on Fridays, in which one dances to the finest dubstep and drinks holy beer from beer boots, and sacrificial ceremonies in which one offers any of the holy items to the "Lord Doitsu" in hopes of achieving happiness, love, luck, or greater shine. The only traditional clothing of the Doitsuists is a horse mask headdress in honor of Germania, and Party Pants and Rubber Boots for traditional German Sparkle Parties. The sacred hymn of the church that is sung often by its members is "Shine Bright like a Doitsu."
Laws of Doitsuism
There are three laws that all Doitsuists must abide by. These laws are:
- "Shine bright like a Doitsu."
- "Never hesitate to help someone else shine brightly, for you must spread the Doitsu."
- "The D stands for the Doitsu. Want it."
Rules of Doitsuism
The Rules of Doitsuism are constantly growing. Most of the rules are recorded in the book of Doitsuism while others are only spread and kept alive through the sheer power of the words of the Doitsuists (with the help of reblogs).
You can now find these rules here
Sacred and Most Notable Figures
- Lord Doitsu
- High Priest Preußen
- Sister Coral
- First Prophet Veneziano
- Saint Doitsa, Patron of Beauty, Creator of Wikis
- Saint Iggy, Patron of Literature and Failed Cooking
- Saint Francis, Patron of Romance
- Saint Yao, Patron of Business
- Saint Vanya, Patron of Memory
- Saint Matthew, Patron of Flora and Fauna
- Saint Alfred, Patron of Enthusiasm and Scientific Endeavor
- The Wanderer, Honda the Wise
- Grandpa Rome, the Womanizer
- Germania, Caretaker of the Womanizer
The Rise and Fall of DoitsuDoitsu fell, for he was smited by Anti-Doitsuists who tried to steal his light.
After 13 days Doitsu rose again.
(See rule 20 of Doitsuism)