The Eyebrowed One is the evil version of Saint Iggy, Patron of Literature and Failed Cooking, just like Anti-Doitsu is the evil version of Doitsu.


The goal of the Eyebrowed One is to spread his unholy poisonous scones to the believers of Doitsuism. The evil scones are said to be able to posses the Doitsuists and rid them of their shine.

"If you smell the stench of burnt scones, run. It will be The Eyebrowed One, be calm, if he tries to approach you be stern and scream 'BACK SINNER!' " - Sealand

Another way to rid The Eyebrowed One from your presence is to tell him that you are in fact independent.

"Those who offer you the unholy scones only seek to lead you down the path of sin. Do not listen to these sinners, those who follow the voice of the Eyebrowed One.  If they try to give you a scone you should promptly remind them of Sherlock’s failed attempt at parkour."

--Rule 6 of The Book of Doitsuism

On the subject of those who have turned from the holy path of Doitsu and have turned to The Eyebrowed One. The exact way to bring them back to the path of Doitsu is unknown, however ancient scrolls found persons unknown suggest that the following procedure may bring back their shine.

  1. Strike the afflicted over the head with a potato.
    1. In the wurst case scenario the afflicted has been deeply tainted, and is immune to the effects of the potato. If this happens the afflicted must be brought to the high priest or priestess.
  2. If the afflicted is now unconscious proceed to draw a circle around the afflicted, placing a likeness of Lord Doitsu besides the persons head. Then sprinkle the ashes of burn scones over the afflicted, careful to make sure neither you nor the afflicted ingests the burnt scones, for they retain their effect even as ash. Finally, sing one of the hymns of Doitsu. After the afflicted wakes up, their shine should have returned, though it will be weak. to strengthen it, the afflicted must consume nothing but potatos, wurst, and beer for these make up the Holy Trinity.
  3. If the afflicted does not regain their shine within the week, repeat steps 1 and 2 until the afflicted shines bright once more
Busbys chair by celestialrainbowusa-d5ijl8c

One of the many evil weapons of The Eyebrowed One, known as Busby's Chair

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