History of the Holy Potato
Many scholars have often posed the question "Which came first: the chicken or the egg?" Whatever their conclusion was is completely unimportant right now. The Doitsuists once asked themselves "Which came first: the Doitsu or the potato?" The answer to that is much simpler and way more important. I mean, for real, bro.
Some sects of Doitsuism believe that Doitsu created the Holy Potato so as to provide for his beloved children. Others may think that the Potato existed because of murder, and it gave him sustenance to Shine Bright. All we know for sure is that potatoes are darn tasty things in all of their many starchy forms.
And thus the Doitsuists venerate the Holy Potato, whose eyes peer into the depths of the soul. If, by chance an anti-Doitsuist insults you, or questions your beliefs, just say this: "My taters make me famous."
You may insert more clever potato puns here, if you wish.